If the world was right and critics decided how many albums would be sold by their reviews, this album would have been up there with the best-selling albums of all time. Almost every critic, including Mr. Dadomo, liked this one a lot. And they were right – there is a lot to like about this album. Do yourself a favour and get it.
Read on!
Ramones gabba no moss
The Ramones: “Ramones Leave Home” (Sire SA 7528, Import) *****
Album review by Giovanni Dadomo
‘GABBA GABBA we accept you / we accept you /one of us…’
Pardon?
‘I don’t wanna be a pinhead no more…’
Oh, no! But why Joey, what’s wrong?
‘I just met a nurse that I could go for.’
I thought so. You mean you’re gonna take evening classes… cut out the glue and even (sigh!) hang up your baseball bat? But I didn’t think you even liked girls much. No, I can’t believe it’s that simple. What I reckon it is is that you’ve got sick and tired of people calling you — ‘D-U-M-B/Everyone’s accusing me…’
The above quotes constitute the lyric of ‘Pinhead’, the closing track on side one of ‘Ramones Leave Home’ and, considering their contents and those of the second side’s opening ‘Now I Wanna Be A Good Boy’ ‘I don’t wanna be bad’ etc.) one could be forgiven for thinking the Ramones had turned over a new leaf, forsaking the splendidly facile music and lyrics of their debut album in favour of musical proficiency, concepts, solos… in short, everything that’s wrong with mainstream `rock’ and which ‘Ramones’ was against. Don’t worry, ‘Pinhead’ (a great title — if there isn’t a fanzine using the name – within two weeks I’ll start one myself) is all lies; ‘Ramones Leave Home’ is every bit as crass, simple, funny, catchy and brilliant as its predecessor — in fact it’s better still already. The mixture’s pretty much as before, with Joey Ramone doing distorted Jagger ’65 impressions to a background of desperately thrashed chords from Johnny R’s guitar as bassist Dee Dee and Tommy on drums crash their way to the end of each song like there was no afternoon, let alone tomorrow. There are, once again, a generous fourteen tracks, with a mean average timing at just under two minutes. From the top suit you? Does me. ‘Glad To See You Go’ has a huge lyric by Ramones standards — printed in full on the inner sleeve and a postive boon, seeing as there’s no way I’d have otherwise have been able to work out what Joey was singing about shooting some chick in order to ‘get the glory like Charles Manson’. A bit sick, you say? Come on, as if anybody would take these delightful caricatures any more seriously than Tom and Jerry. Anyway, this one pounds along in expected fashion, as does the even faster — and therefore punchier and ultimately more enjoyable — `Gimme Gimme Shock Treatment’, a blistering ode to the joys of EST featured in the boys’ act last summer.
Next, a slowie – thassright, Remember You’ is a succinct (26 word lyric) love ballad that’ll have the girls weeping and the boys biting their lower lips. Back up for ‘Oh Oh I Love Her So’ and Surf-flavoured teen romance blossoming by the soda machine. Nice full production too from Tony Bongiovi.
And even faster for ‘Carbona Not Glue’, our reassurance that the kids haven’t changed at all — ‘I’m not sorry for the things I do’ boasts Joey, as the boys punctuate the frenetic backing track with Glitter Band-style ‘Heys’. ‘Suzy Is A Headbanger’ is just as fast and has a neat false finish and Eddie Cochran teach-yourself guitar riff. Then `Pinhead’ — and ‘Pinhead’ is weird. First the `Gabba Gabba/We accept you’ bit, chanted unaccompanied before the full band sound emerges for the main body of the song then it’s back to ‘Gabba gabba hey’ over and over again with Mickey Mouse spoken bits repeating bits of the song (‘I don’t wanna be a pinhead’) and fading on what I’m pretty certain is ‘Will someone teach me how to pick my nose?’ That’s pinheads for you — dumb as they come.
`Now I Wanna Be A Good Boy’ has a falsetto lead very close to early Who and a neat drums/guitar dialogue towards the tail. Otherwise it’s pretty standard Ramones. But who cares when the next song is one of the best — if not the best thing the Ramones have ever done. Yes indeed, ‘Swallow My Pride’ has such an incredibly catchy chorus — not to mention totally unobjectionable lyrics — that it really must be a hit. And right — if the record industry weren’t so screwed up and complacent the Ramones would have had hits already with ‘Blitzkreig Bop’ and ‘I Wanna By Your Boyfriend’ but ‘Swallow My Pride’ cuts both of them to shreds as dance and singe-ability are concerned. The arrangements has just a hint of Sweet about it, subtle use of echo, Dee Dee’s cleanest vocals, handclaps — all the ingredients for a class ‘A’ single. I really like ‘What’s Your Game Too’. Another ballad (though only by Ramones standards, of course), this one had a chugalug beat under quavering lead vocals backed with some neat falsetto harmonies and a melody based on Mick ‘n’ Keef’s ‘As Tears Go By’. Love it. `One chew tree faw!’ screams Dee Dee introducing the album’s only non-original, ‘California Sun’. Out and out Ramones freaks will have a live version already from the flip of ‘Boyfriend’; this one’s neater and sharper and fits in with the rest of the album a lot better than the live cut would’ve.
Next up is ‘Commando’, again with Dee Dee practising his counting for the start of one of the fastest songs on the album. Hilarious chant middle listing the four rules the commando has to obey, in order of appearance: ‘The laws of Germany… Be nice to mommy… Don’t talk to commies, and, last and best of all, ‘Eat kosher salamis’. You don’t think it’s funny? Wait ’til you hear it.
`You’re Gonna Kill That Girl’ has ‘Leader Of The Pack’-oriented spoken beginning with typically frenzied Ramones extensions attached. Here the romantic and sadistic sides of the Ramones meet: `When I saw her walking down the street/my heart stood still and skipped a beat/Then he knocked her on the floor’
The endings a total rush of ‘Kill kill kill’ (Tom and Jerry, remember?) harmonies ending in a brief rush of feedback.
The closing ‘You Should Never Have Opened That Door’ is at times highly reminiscent of Sparks. An interesting parallel there, seeing as distinctive new pop sound that was as invigorating in its own way as the Ramones debut was.
Ron and Russ blew it with their follow-up though, and I have to admit that I was mighty feared the Ramones would do the same. Happily this just isn’t so; ‘Ramones Leave Home’ is no mere re-run of the first album, and what it loses in the former’s initial impact it gains in terms of greater variety and just the teeniest touch more embellishment.
Not to mention the fact that by the third play I knew nearly all the tunes. And I really don’t give a flea’s fart if this was because half of them had been ripped off from other people (which they are); the point is I didn’t reach for the originals — I reached to turn `Ramones Leave Home’ over, that’s all.
All together now: GABBA GABBA WE ACCEPT YOU… GABBA GABBA…
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